The Pool

I’ve never even seen it. Not once. I think I’ve seen the locked door one would theoretically walk through to enter the pool. But, for all I know, there’s really no pool there.

There must be. We had a swimming team.

What’s especially odd about this is I had every intention of joining the swimming team when my Mom first told me I was going to school there.

Dress of the Day

One of the duties held by Batallion Staff was to determine the Dress of the Day. Their judgement is about as accurate as a meteorologist before they started using radar. I can still feel the cold, winter air ripping into my bare skin wondering why we weren’t wearing:

• long sleeves
• jackets
• hats
• gloves
• scarves

And, of course, we’d be standing at attention out in the cold waiting for them, trying to look (without moving our heads) over toward Batallion Staff to see if they were coming. We’d all have that same feeling you get while waiting for a city bus or train.

Shivering.

Watching them walk, seemingly as slow as possible, to the area in the center (sort of) of all the dorms, receive report, and – finally, mercifully – begin moving toward the Dining Hall.

There were rare occasions when it would be so cold or the snow falling so hard the C.O. (Charge of Quarters … see the 5th picture in M Company and only picture in Must I Go Home) would get the welcome call saying we should just march up without waiting.

I really hated “morning formation.” School wouldn’t start for two hours or more (I don’t remember exactly) but we were being dragged out of bed to stand in the cold and wait so we could then march up to the Dining Hall and then finally go to school after breakfast. My oldest daughter is 16 and has a similar difficulty getting out of bed. It’s pretty funny.

Sitting In the Seat of Honor

In the Major Merrit Dining Hall is an old, yellowed sign from, I don’t know … the Civil War or something … that displays students’ names when it’s their birthday.

As if the thrill of the entire student body knowing it was your birthday and seeing your name up in lights wasn’t enough – oh yes, there’s more – you got to sit with the superintendent at his table.

I spent plenty of time next to the Superintendent’s table because I was his waiter. That meant I stood just behind him at parade rest waiting for a plate to be emptied, a cup needing to be re-filled, or a request from an administrator or teacher who also sat there.

One of the coolest things about Colonel Thomas Merrit (son of Major Merrit – they were both superintendents) was that he liked cinammon toast. He had a little table in the corner with things like … a large salt shaker thing filled with sugar and cinnamon he mixed himself.

Those pictures on the wall are the same ones featured in Sieze the Day.

Sometimes the table next to his would be filled with VIPs as well, but the other major table you really didn’t want to be called to unless you sat there was the Batallion Staff table.

I am sure that friends and company leaders were called up there for various reasons but if a “regular” cadet was called up to that table, it was likely he or she was in trouble. You’d walk up there with a rock in stomach and your legs not quite as solid.

If the batallion commander wasn’t around (at a track meet or something), someone else from batallion staff would lead and sit at the head of that table. If none of them (there were only five or six) were around, then the next highest ranking cadet would be up there.

I sat there once.

It must have been an open weekend when everyone was gone and I was the only senior left on campus.

Besides leading the batallion in the march from the dorms to the dining hall, your job once you were there was to lead the student body in the traditional prayer before meals. Which … I … don’t remember.

On the Waterfront

Each Independence Day, Howe Summer Camp put on a rather impressive fireworks display on for the camp and other lakeside residents which included, to my delight, cannon-fire.

Swimming was a complicated affair. The roped off shallow section, the roped off “big kid” section where you still had to have a buddy and all-too-frequent “buddy checks.” I participated in the one-mile swim which was the most exhausting experience of my life. I came in last. A distant last. At one point, to make myself lighter, I took off my Alice Cooper t-shirt (I have no idea why I was wearing it while swimming in the first place), handed it to one of the guys in the boat that was following me making sure I didn’t drown and … never saw it again.

My junior year, I tried to convince Doug Knowlton to sneak out to the camp with me in the middle of the night and perform the Call to Cthulhu ceremony in Anton LeVay’s The Satanic Rituals but he was very uninterested to say the least. His reluctance to participate in such an endeavor is probably for the best … when Cthulhu didn’t actually rise from the water it would have been rather anti-climactic and the walk back to campus would probably seem even longer and I seem even lamer.

“Why is the bed shaking?”

I only attended Howe Summer Camp one year. I’d done so poorly in 9th and 10th grades at public school I needed to do some catching up before returning to Howe for 11th and 12th grades. The summer camp provides not only the usual summer camp fare but also – if needed and/or desired – summer school classes. I took English (I don’t know what the reason was besides Divine Providence) and Algebra.

In public school, I went from Algebra to Beginning Algebra to Remedial Math. Not long after beginning Algebra (which was – oddly enough – taught by the football coach … Howe technically still had a football team at that point though it was all but dead), I was asked to tutor other students. Later, in my junior year, I also did quite well in Geometry and Chemistry and was encouraged to take Physics. Physics is now one of my favorite subjects but back then it simply required too much (any at all) work to get an A.

I also received a medal for my work in English class but that’s a no-brainer … I’m really curious why I was in that class, now … it’s really bothering me. English was taught by Kevin Beuret.

Above is the nurse’s station run by the guy who got me the H.P. Lovecraft and Hal Lindsey books. I paid for them – he was just cool enough to score them for me at the local used book store.

A totally crass memory that always makes me smile is one night, after lights out … keep in mind we all slept in bunk beds … some kid said, nice and loud, “Why is the bed shaking?!” which I thought was a rather diplomatic way of saying to his bunkmate, “Hey, could you please quit …”

The QuarterMaster

This is the gentleman mentioned in The Canteen. He’s married to the lady who runs the Canteen (with an iron fist, I’m sure) and remembered me by name from 20 years earlier. He gave me some retired patches for Echo and Micah company which made me happy and nostalgic (when am I not?).  

So he’s the Quartermaster, the guy between you and what you need. When you’ve earned your varsity letter, he’s the guy with the jackets. Been promoted to an officer? He’s the guy with the sabers. Earned the ribbon for Best Effort In Remedial Math? He’s got ‘em.

The “new” (20-25 years old) QuartMaster building. The building itself is older, of course, but it has only been home to the QM since the 80’s.

That lobby/common room that the double doors lead to may have been where the Fuzzy Teadybears practiced. I think a teacher lived upstairs … or downstairs … somewhere in the building. He had it much better than the teachers who had the rooms in dorms where students actually lived. Well, except when we practiced for heavy metal stardom, that is.

That’s the door to the right of the previous picture. I remember seeing the previous QM with his/her daughter at the spot I was standing on when I took this picture. What was her name? It’s on the tip of my tongue. She was a cadet. While I was there, girls were allowed as day students. The girls dorm opened the year after I graduated. I can only imagine what life would have been like if girls lived on campus when I was there. If memory serves, she wasn’t as outgoing as the other girls. There were four or five my senior year.

Requisitions

Requisitions were magical things. You think credit or debit cards are “magical” ways of getting stuff for “free”? At Howe, any cadet would walk into the QuarterMaster, ask for something and get it. You just had to write down your list of booty on a little form as big as your hand and sign it. The carbon copy would get sent to your parents and they’d pay for your school supplies, socks, hygiene products, other clothes, whatever.

Whenever I go back to visit and see the way cool stuff they have – not for cadets, but for alumni … I sure wish I could just sign a little requisition form and take what I wanted.

Another Fund Raising Idea

A few months ago, I wrote about fundraising for the Raise the Roof campaign to help repair the gym roof. This is what I did – I bought a bunch of cheap pencils from the QuarterMaster. Maroon pencils with white lettering that said “Howe Military School.” I sold them for $10-15 each telling people it was to help repair the gym roof.

You’d be surprised how willing people are to A) Help a school and B) spend ridiculous amounts of money on little things especially for a good cause. In fact, I think the bigger the disparity between the item’s actual worth and the amount they’re donating, the better they feel. That way, you can sell little things like pencils for what really isn’t a lot (it’s just a lot for a pencil) and people feel good and Howe benefits.

I just thought of another great idea I’m going to start doing! Hold on … I have to hop over into Photoshop and make something …

[a few minutes later]

Print out and sell these …

Here, you’re selling something even “less valuable” than a pencil. You’re selling them what they’re NOT going to buy today!

In fact, if anyone from Howe is reading this, have 2-3 cadets set up a booth next to a Starbucks (or some equivalent) and sell these. Who is so heartless, they’re going to walk right by students raising money for their school to buy something everyone admits is a luxury item? I’ll buy anything from students. Candy bars, broken glass, used cat litter, whatever … they’re out there when they don’t have to be, in the cold outside Wal-Mart supporting their school.

You could sell water bottles with custom labels that say “No caffeine and doesn’t stain your teeth.” And you could also sell those at some outside event in the summer!

There, That Wasn’t So Painless

I just gave $10 to the annual fund. Not much, but if everyone gives $5-10 (or more, of course) that adds up. Give $5. Come on, you know you want to.

Speaking of Radio

Excuse me while I daydream … sometimes I make lists of what I would do if I won the lottery and much of that has always involved supporting Howe.

My first thought has always been to build a huge library, overflowing with books and cozy places to study. As it turns out, they could also use a librarian now.

Over the last couple years, however, I’ve added to my personal wish list for the school.

THE HOWE HERALD
My vision for the student paper and radio station is to make a place where students can learn all the roles and skills required to run a real-life radio station and newspaper. This would ensure they got to college already having experience that would make them competitive – that means an inside track to internships and other opportunities that present themselves.

That means a student paper that comes out at least monthly if not bi-weekly or weekly. The argument against that might be a lack of stories but anyone who loves to write can find stories. It might be more features than news but that’s okay. Student promotions, clubs, speech, debate, drama, record & movie reviews, local events, sports. I know from experience that writers and editors get free books, tickets, etc. so stories, reviews, etc. can fill up space and provide some incentive to be a part of the school paper.

Learning to sell advertising could provide some revenue for not only the paper but the radio station as well. I’ve never wanted a career in sales, but I know those types make good money and this would be great experience and be good for the paper, station, and school.

Imagine the value added to the reputation of the school! Graduates with not only good grades, character, and discipline, but with foundations for careers and seeds entrepreneurial spirit!

Broadcasting and journalism are both highly competitive career fields. At every stage of college or vocational school, you need to prove experience and giving students years of experience over their peers in college is invaluable.

Learning design and writing for print and radio goes without saying.

WHWE
Marketing of the radio station is another job a student could fill. There are so many ways to give creative and ambitious students an outlet in these areas. 

I know from experience that radio stations (and school papers) get free records. I’m not sure how royalties work. I wonder if, since they’re “educational,” that’s not a concern? As it turns out, I don’t know everything.

The radio station should be used to broadcast sports events – even if no one more than a mile or two away can hear them! It’s the students’ education and experience that counts! They could then post the games and programs as podcasts and video podcasts on the school web site for parents, friends, and alumni.

Just like the Howe Herald should come out more often, the station should be on the air more often (or at least available via podcast).

WEB SITE
Which leads me, as always, to slamming the web site. The students could and should run the school web site! It’s obvious that whoever the webmaster is neither knows anything about design nor cares about the web site. For that matter, the state of the website shows that anyone responsible for it – even financially – doesn’t care about the school.

I can only in my nightmares imagine the countless people who google “military school,” look at Howe’s site, laugh, and send their kids someplace else. Howemilitary.com has one message: “Don’t send your children here.”

I am sure it boils down to a lack of money. I’m sure the school can’t afford to have it done right which is all the more reason to do it in house but do it in house the RIGHT way – let the experts do it. Any cadet, 5th – 12th grade could do a better job. Every kid has a web site. And they all look better than howemilitary.com

I’ve known countless people who program and admin chat rooms, bulletin boards, etc. and there’s no reason the students of Howe can’t do the same on an intranet at the school. I’m sure they’re already networked, etc. but give the kids the opportunities to use those tools. Especially since they’d do a better job than the administration. Now, let me clarify – that’s not a criticism of the administration … adults just have less interest and aptitude when it comes to playing with technology so there’s not the same motivation for innovation or pursuit of excellence that a junior high or high school kid is going to have.

In addition to creating academic tools, the students could come up with an online store that actually works.

Kids WANT to learn. Kids WANT cool experiences. They get into trouble because there’s nothing else to do. Kids WANT accomplishments to be proud of.

Adults WISH they’d had opportunities like this. College students WISH they’d started earlier.

Howe could do this. It could make all these dreams come true.

I wish I had a few million dollars to give them to make it happen.

I do what I can, a little at a time. In fact, I’ll go online an donate a few dollars to the annual fund right now. Why don’t you go do the same?

Even Cooler Than a Stereo In A Footlocker

Walking down the 2nd floor hallway of Delta Company, I heard the unmistakable, glorious voice of Arthur Penhallow. For anyone who grew up in the Detroit area, his voice is instantly recognizable. In 1986, he’d been the afternoon drive-time DJ of AOR radio station WRIF for fifteen years. In 2008, he still holds that time slot. If you’ve seen the movie The Upside of Anger, you’ve seen him – he plays himself (wow, that almost sounded dirty). I think WRIF is only one of 2-3 Detroit stations that haven’t changed formats at least once in my lifetime. All the stations that popped up to imitate it are gone.

I walked into ________’s room and asked if he was listening to a recording. I didn’t believe him when he said he was just listening to it on the radio. He then showed me the cable leading out his window to the roof where he had a small, but very powerful, antenna that could get signals from Detroit. I couldn’t have been more envious. WRIF was a slice of home. At home it was a way of life. I met Arthur P at a Taco Plaza when he was distributing the new gold, hard plastic D.R.E.A.D. cards which replaced the old paper ones. DREAD was an organization any true rocker was a member of: Detroit Rockers Engaged in the Abolition of Disco. He autographed my old paper one.

He has a deep, booming voice and cars around the motor city bear bumper stickers with his catch phrases. I was little when I met him and he was this giant biker who was – even not taking his size into consideration – a god to me (and thousands of other young boys).